i wish peter jackson would direct porn
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
then he tried to convert me to islam
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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