Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
