he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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