its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
