what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
