so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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