America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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