why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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