What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
