At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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