They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
