What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
