so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
