Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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