dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
