Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
worst night to have a conscience
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
