Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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