I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
