i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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