Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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