So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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