Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
