Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
