Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
