I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
