So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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