According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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