well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize