ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
