STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
