Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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