people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
