i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
