fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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