Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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