i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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