sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
