shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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