you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
