it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
