If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize