She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Send help, water and tortillas.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
