so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
