Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
