why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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