So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
