All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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