he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize