Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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