Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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