I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
