Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
