he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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