Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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