Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
