I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
