ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
