cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm getting married
To pizza
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
