Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
