his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
