Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
