imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
