She announced her abortion via fbk
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
