let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So vagazzling was a success
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
