so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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