I have demons in me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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