This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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