how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
