Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
