went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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