How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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