Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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