i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
