We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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