Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
