If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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