I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
is wine microwaveable?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
