I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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