so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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