thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
