I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
