Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
