didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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