I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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