R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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