Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
