i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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